


ONE! BIG! MOON!

by SandrC



Series: Balance My Deeds With My Misdeeds [46]
Category: Not Another D&D Podcast, The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Found Family, Gen, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sleepovers, So sue me, Though not wholly sexual polyamory, cuddle cotes are great, everyone is bi and its great, i just want more bev ango interactions, polyamorous ipre
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 21:13:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17108240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandrC/pseuds/SandrC
Summary: Angus McDonald didn't have many friends outside of his coworkers in the B.O.B. and the Birds so, of-fucking-course Taako would send the hubby to pseudo-kidnap them from halfway across Toril. No biggie.Beverly, Hardwon, and Moonshine were having one helluva day, that's for sure. And what the fuck did mister tall dark and handsome mean by "don't look down"?!





	ONE! BIG! MOON!

**Author's Note:**

> This was only meant to be a fucking oneshot. It is still, by a technicality, but fuck man! 6K is too much for this sheepy! Jeezus!
> 
> I may or may not ramble a bit about race morphology visavis various planar differences between Toril and Tusôn as well as was poetic about the nature of Barry and Lup as "goddess sanctioned liches" so like...whoops???
> 
> Sorrynotsorry
> 
> I cut it off weird but fuck man, what do y'all expect of me? I was losing the lead! Needed to end somewhere and cuddle puddle seemed best place to do so.
> 
> Also don't think for a second that the StarBlasztr crew didn't dabble in polyshipping (lmao) before settling on their happy relationships. Also I still will die on this, the S.S. Blupcretia. Don't @ me.
> 
> Enjoy, I guess. Set post finale for TAZ and somewhere after the Crick but before Frostwind in NADDPOD. You don't need to know anything about NADDPOD though. Just that I love these three murderhobos.

A rift in space and time, shimmering sapphire and necrotic and radiant, opened up on the deck of the _S.S. Stormborn_. As Beverly, Moonshine, and Hardwon poked their heads towards it, a tall cloaked figure stepped out, scythe in hand, and opened a large tome.

" **Beverly Toegold the Fifth, Hardwon Surefoot born Elias Stormborn Jr., Pawpaw the Possum, and Moonshine Cybin. I have come for _you_!**" In a booming voice, the figure intoned each of their names, glowing eyes turning to them one-by-one. Then it reached up and pulled back its hood, revealing a very dark and handsome Drow, who gave them a warm smile. " _Don't worry_ ," he added, "it's not your time. Angus just wanted to know if you could _hang_?"

" _Hh_ —?" Hardwon could barely speak, his voice caught in his throat. His heart hammered like a forge, slamming his pulse anxiously through him.

"He... _Angus_?" Beverly chewed his lip for a second, then lit up, ears quivering excitedly. " _Oh_! _Angus_! The World's Greatest Detective!"

" _Hot shit_! How _is_ lil Angus?" Moonshine beamed.

The Drow smiled again. "Having a sleepover. _You all_ are invited, if you like. Though, maybe _leave_ Balnor? I _don't_ think he'd do well where _you're_ going."

The Band shared a glance. Beverly nodded and turned to face Balnor, who was eating a tuna sandwich on soggy WonderBread. "Can you watch the ship while we're gone?"

Balnor swallowed, looking at everyone there. "Does it... _have_ to be in the air?"

" _No_ ," Hardwon said, a little _too_ hard, but this was his father's ship so no one could _really_ blame him. "It'll be docked here, _no_ moving, but you can have _whatever_ bed."

" _Sweet_! Stay safe Beverly! _All_!" Balnor bowed deeply, which made everyone _supremely_ uncomfortable. It was a little _too_ formal.

When he left to take a long nap, the Drow bent over and asked, "is he _always_ like this?"

" _Mostly_ ," Beverly admitted, "but we're used to it. More than _before_ , that is..."

There was a long, heady pause that was only broken by the Drow coughing gently. " _You coming?_ " He gestured to the portal with the hand free of his scythe. "It'll remain open as long as I keep it there but I _do_ have things I have to do. Mainly _death_ things."

Beverly eyed the portal, reaching to Pelor to see if it gave any weird energy off. _Radiant_ , sure, _and_ necrotic, but not abyssal or _evil_. He nodded and stepped through the portal, but not before Moonshine rapport spore'd Bev and Hardwon. From their end, Beverly was silent. _Eerily_ so.

Moonshine swallowed heavily but trusted Beverly. "Cool. _Okay_. Like, _aight_..." And she stepped through.

Alone, Hardwon looked around and chewed on his lower lip. He wasn't certain if he _really_ wanted to go but...the Drow was starting to _really_ creep him out. He wasn't blinking. Or _breathing_.

Hardwon took a deep breath and exhaled, slow. Then he stepped through.

* * *

Moonshine's consciousness returned to her with the feeling of getting pulled through a spaghetti strainer and the internal screaming of Beverly through rapport spores. _Oh god **oh** sweet P oh **wow** oh sweet, **sweet** P!_

 _Bev!_ Moonshine thought at him, her head ringing, _**calm** your **tits** youngun._

 _Oh. **Oh!** You're safe! Oh sweet P that **was** —!_ Bev's manic thoughts cut off as Hardwon staggered out of the portal and doubled over to empty his stomach.

_**Fucking** shit sweet fucking **nine hells** what the **actual** Dwarven **fuck** was that **oh god** I fucking **hate** that, **fuck**!_

_Felt like death warmed over?_ Moonshine thought at him.

Hardwon vomited again. Beverly made a noise of disgust. Behind the three of them, the Drow stepped through the portal and closed it behind him. He made a soft noise of pity.

" _Sorry_ about that. I forget that travel by rift tends to be... _unpleasant_ the first couple of times you do it..." The Drow hummed softly. "Though it was worse for Hardwon due to his... _upsetting_ relation with death. Too _often_ and _too_ close." He grinned and gestured to a large double door. " _Anyway_ , Angus is in the central area. Shouldn't be hard to find but would you like an escort?"

 _I don't **know;**  ain't this dude Death?_ Moonshine glanced over at the Drow.

 _Yeah but he's **also** friends of Angus?_ Beverly protested.

 _I don't—_ Hardwon vomited again. He just sighed through the rapport spores.

 ** _Ew_**. Beverly winced.

 ** _Gross_**. Moonshine wrinkled her nose.

"We'd _love_ an escort Mister—?"

" _Kravitz_ ," the Drow supplied. "Come this way then. And _don't look down_."

 _Don't look down?_ Beverly frowned slightly.

 _What does he mean by **that**?_ Moonshine asked.

Hardwon groaned softly to himself, his own rapport spore line silent save for a soft, muttering, _my mouth tastes like citrus and carrots and I'm **pretty** sure I didn't eat any **fucking** carrots, **why** is it always carrots, I don't even **like** carrots!_

Kravitz led them through the double doors into a large square room with buttons on the north-facing wall. The doors closed when everyone was inside and Kravitz pressed a button on the lower row, which lit up. The room jostled and hummed and a tinny song warbled forth from a mesh speaker. Kravitz smiled and tapped his toes, humming along.

 _This is **weird** ,_ Beverly thought at his friends. His foot jostled nervously.

 _Are we going **anywhere**?_ Moonshine asked, _coz it don't **feel** that way._

 _I **think** I'm done puking, guys_, Hardwon added. Everyone else made a noise of dissent. He followed it with a salty, ** _fuck you._**

"First floor: Men's Wear!" Kravitz's smile fell when no one responded to his joke. "Or _not_. I forget that a lot of my humor is Taako's humor...not everyone gets _his_ jokes. _Come along_! Angus is in the Reclaimers' old room. It's the biggest living quarters in _the Bureau_."

The door opened, revealing a _wholly_ different area than before. Before they entered the small room, they had been on a large, rounded quad with domes peeking over the horizon and the sun beating down on their backs. After, they were looking down a long subterranean corridor with strange magic lighting and the thrumming sound of music behind closed doors in the distance.

" _Sweet Melora..._ "

"What the _actual_ Dwarven fuck?!"

"... _huh_...that's odd..."

Kravitz looked at the three of them, brows pinched. "Do they... _not_ have elevators in Bahumia?"

"Not that I'm aware of," Hardwon said, examining the 'elevator' intently. "This would've been _so damn useful_ in the mines. Imagine using this fucking nonsense to ascend and descend shafts in Irondeep!"

" _Huh_...I'll talk to Angus about convincing Lucas to expand his brand farther across Toril." Kravitz frowned again, pensive. "But, elevators aside, Angus is probably very _very_ anxious to see you!"

"Oh _yeah_!" Bev bounced in excitement. "Let's go meet him!"

Kravitz gestured and nodded. Beverly looked at Moonshine and Hardwon and the three shared a silent look. "First and _only_ door in this area."

" _Thank you_!" Full-tilt, Beverly took a dash action down the hall and disappeared from sight but through rapport spores, he could still be heard excitedly babbling. _I'm so so **so excited!** Are **you** excited?! **I'm** excited! Are **you** guys excited to see Angus?! I'm **excited**! So **so excited!**_

 _What d'you think he meant by ' **don't look down'**?_ Moonshine thought at the Band. _I mean, down is down is **down** , ain't it?_

_If **this** part of Toril has these elevator fuckers, then I'd say it **may** have to do with height or lava beneath us or **something**. Also: **fuck** that death portal. It **sucked**._

_**Okay** , I'm at a door and I'm knocking. **Wow** , the music is **real** loud up here! I don't recognize the artist, but it's a real **bop**! Would've been fun to dance to with Erlan._ One of the terrible side-effects of rapport spores was that emotions often tinted their thoughts to one another and, while your thoughts just flowed freely in the link, it took effort to _not_ project them. That was hard when you were a teen boy in love.

Hardwon made a gagging noise. Moonshine elbowed him, _hard_.

Then Beverly gave a shout and Moonshine and Hardwon broke into dead sprints. Their boy was _hollering_. He could be in _danger_! And they had deigned to leave their weaponry with Balnor! _Fucking dumb!_

It was _then_ , to their surprise, that they discovered it was a yell of _joy_ , not fear or pain.

There was Angus McDonald, in a overly-large sleep shirt, with a large grin on his face, hands flapping wildly.

* * *

Angus was _certain_ that Taako was being sneaky about something. Or, rather, he was trying to hide something. He kept brushing off Angus's many pressing questions and deflecting his many worries. "Where's Mister Kravitz, sir?"

"Out getting items for the crudite."

" _Really_?" Angus pressed, eyebrows raised in skepticism.

" _Yep_." He popped the plosive, not meeting Angus's eyes in the way he always did when he was certainly lying about something.

"And it had _nothing_ to do with my friends halfway across Toril?"

" _Nope_."

"If you _say so_ , sir." Angus used his Adults Think I'm Dumb voice, giving Taako a soft smile. So it was, to _no one's_ surprise, when someone knocked on the door, Angus trotted on over with a million watt smile.

On the other side, looking very very confused and extremely anxious, was Beverly Toegold V. To Angus's delight, he immediately relaxed upon seeing Angus. " _Angus_!"

" _Hey_ Beverly!" Angus held his arms out in a hug, flapping a bit.

Moonshine and Hardwon rounded a corner, running a full sprint. When they saw Angus, they skidded to a halt and sighed with relief. Bits of orange were speckling Hardwon's beard and Moonshine and Pawpaw looked like death had come knocking for them. Knowing Kravitz, _that_ made sense.

There was a long period of silence as the three stood there and said nothing. It took Angus a moment to realize what was up, but when he did, it was all he could do to not flap harder. "While I'm certain that Miss Cybin's abilities are useful in combat and so on, now is _not_ combat. _Please_ leave the psychic communication at the door!"

Moonshine blushed to the tip of her pointed ears, freckles shining starkly against the pink of her skin. " _Sorry_ ," she apologized, "force a'habit. We spend a _lotta_ time wanderin' in places with people best left in th'dark _so_..."

"No need to apologize! It's more a _suggestion_ than anything else. _I'm_ fine with it," Angus nodded, "but I _doubt_ Miss Lucretia or Taako woild be appreciative of silent communication by people they don't know. Even _with_ my glowing praise of you!"

" _Yo_ , that Kravitz dude sucks _ass_ , man..." Hardwon moaned and wiped a gobbet of drool off his mouth. Moonshine and Beverly laughed, not unkindly. "I fucking _hate_ that portal thing..."

Angus pondered that for a second. "Considering your propensity for almost dying, _I'm sure_. You _did_ technically pass through the Astral Plane."

"Oh _Melora_..."

"But, all that aside—" he clapped his hands together once, "I need you to meet my _family_! Or, insofar as I _have_ one. Found family, afterall, is the _strongest_ kind!"

" _Fuck yeah_ it is!"

Angus waved them into the room behind the door, grinning like a maniac. "Don't worry if the music doesn't sound familiar! Most of Taako's things are from Tusôn _and_..." he made a vague, roundabout gesture with one hand. The Band shared a confused glance but, true to their promises, didn't speak through the spores. Angus continued, " _um_...ground rules and so on...no drugs, even _if_ Merle offers. Don't take anything for keeps because Taako _will_ waste you with a seventh level spell without warning. Magnus wins at arm-wrestling so, unless you _don't_ value your arms, _don't_. Taako and Lup will hustle you so _gods forbid_ you get conned." He paused and hummed softly.

"That's...a _lot_ of rules," Beverly said. It wasn't off-putting, just _a lot_.

" _Admittedly_ ," Angus nodded, "but like...they're a _lot_. So let me introduce you!" He gestured inside.

Taako, reclining gently on the couch, shot everyone a one-handed salute. " _Sup_ , thugs?"

" _This_ is Taako!" Angus gestured to him, grinning wildly again. "He's teaching me _magic_! _Also_ he's a professional chef and also Mister Kravitz's fiancee. _Husband_?"

" _Fiancee_. I wanted to wait but I couldn't pull a Lup an give it fifty fucking years," Taako drawled, "death or not, I gave Lulu shit for waiting forever so I gotta step up my game."

Moonshine elbowed Hardwon in the ribs and whispered something to him. Meanwhile, Beverly bouncily walked up to him and held out a hand. "Pleased to meet you again! I really _did_ enjoy your meal last time we met!"

Taako raised an eyebrow and gave Beverly the once-over, "Oh _fuck yeah_! Bunny boy from the Crick, _right_?!"

" _You've_ met?" Angus looked between them and grinned.

"Beverly, _again_ , _uh_ , but _yes_!" Beverly put his hand down and grinned, a bit weakly, but happy. "Moonshine, Hardwon, and I were in the Crick when, _um_ , Taako and his sister came by with their show."

" _Fuck_! I _knew_ I recognized y'all! Five Alarm Cave Slug!" Moonshine grinned, buck-toothed and all sincerity.

" _Yep_! Good food. Your folk—the Crick I'd assume, from your _accent_ and all—are _very_ accommodating. Not _many_ are fond of cave slug. It's a ' _lesser meat_ '." Taako made air quotes around 'lesser meat', _obviously_ disgusted by the thought.

"Where's your, _uh_ , sister?"

Taako grimaced at Hardwon, " _Ugh_. Who fucking knows? Probably macking on her _jusbin_ in Bird Mom's palace. She said they'd be here before the cake though, so don't sweat your shit, Dj'angus."

"Is Merle in his room or did he leave because of the music?"

"Fucking asshole said something about fantasy Carly Rae Jepsen being, quote, ' _too loud_ ' and I am _pretty_ pissed about that!" Taako grimaced. "Maggie is in the kitchen. Won't let _me_ in there, so I'm _assuming_ he and Carey have a running bet about how long they can keep me out of there today. Little do _they_ know," he leaned forward conspiratorially, "Creesh placed a counter-bet for me so I'm gonna break at one-twenty."

" _Thanks_!" Angus turned back to the Band and gestured to the kitchen area. "Time for introductions!"

* * *

Hardwon wasn't certain how to feel about _any_ of this. Not Kravitz and his fucking portal _through death_. Not Taako ( _and_ , by extension, _Lup_ ) and _his_ whole steeze. Not even the whole ' _don't look down_ ' thing Kravitz was on about earlier.

One thing he _was_ certain of was that this 'Maggie' dude was fucking _ripped as all shit_ and he didn't know _what_ to do with that information.

Angus lead them into a lavish and warm kitchen with metallic appliances everywhere and, at its center, a hulking man with bristly auburn sideburns and a short beard. When they entered, the man turned around and gave everyone gathered a large, gap-toothed smile that radiated hospitality. "Ango!"

 _These dudes **sure** like nicknames, **huh**?_ He hadn't meant to use the rapport spores _but_...old habits and all. It just broadcasted across the line.

The man, _presumably_ the Maggie that Taako had mentioned, scooped Angus up in one big arm and mussed his hair. Angus wriggled and protested half-assed, only getting free after jamming his thumb in the man's armpit and breaking away when he jerked mid-laugh. "You can't keep me held _forever_ anymore! I've got knowledge of your _weaknesses_!"

"Under-arm tickles! The _worst_ of attacks!" 'Maggie' turned his attention to the others in the room. "Oh _shit_. Sorry about that! Name's Magnus Burnsides!" He held out a hand the size of Bev's whole head and gave another sunny grin.

Moonshine swooped in for the handshake, pumping his arm up and down like a fucking hospitality lever. Then she wrapped her arms around him in a big Crick hug. "Moonshine Cybin! _Pleased_ t'meetcha! And _this_ scrambleman in my overalls is Pawpaw!"

Pawpaw gave out a disgruntled screech from twixt her breasts. Magnus gasped so hard Hardwon was certain he'd depressurized the whole room. "Oh he's _so sweet_! I _love_ him! You wanna see Steven?"

" _Would I!_ "

Magnus retrieved a large glass orb of water containing a large goldfish and held it eye-level. " _This_ is Steven Q. Fletcher III Esq."

"Pawpaw _also_ is a _refined_ defense attorney!" Pawpaw chittered in affirmation as Moonshine got up in Steven's shit. "We should swap tales sometime!"

" _For sure!_ " Angus cleared his throat and Magnus turned to see the remaining two Boobs hanging about awkwardly. "Oh, _sorry_! Taako says I'd forget to breathe if that was an option..."

"Not a problem!" Bev nodded. "Beverly Toegold V! I'm pleased to make your acquaintance!"

" _Man_ , I can see why Angus likes _you_." Angus shot Magnus a look but he continued, gesturing about with large hands and painted nails. "Wouldn't stop mentioning his friends halfway across Toril who hadn't heard the Song and _also_ apparently blew up a town during a drug bust."

" _Magnus_!" Angus was blushing hard but the crooked grin Magnus shot his way was teasing and warm. This was, it seemed, a common thread for them.

" _Anyway_ , that leaves _this_ one!" Magnus turned his attention to Hardwon, who bristled and froze up. " _What's up?_ "

" _Hhh_...," for a brief second, Hardwon forgot how to breathe. "Hardwon Surefoot!"

" _Bastard of the Mountain!_ "

" _Pride of the Dwarfinage!_ "

" _Oft Dead!_ "

" _Beheader of Galad Rosell!_ "

"That's _enough_." He didn't mean to snap but... _goddamn_ this dude was intimidating and Hardwon didn't need his friends acting as hype-men right now.

"That's an _impressive_ collection of names, Hardwon." Magnus held out a large hand that Hardwon met in a weak Predator handshake. He lit up and gestured to his own beard with his spare hand. "Dwarven?"

" _Uh_ , yeah?" In his peripherals, Hardwon could see Angus giving Beverly a Told Ya So look. "Irondeep."

" _Solid_! You take great care of it! Last _I_ checked, I don't think giving some of it to a warlock for dubious body-cloning reasons counts as ' _taking care of_ ' my own."

 _The fucking shit?_ "I have some beard oil that might help?"

Magnus lit up again, sincere and warm and _unbearably_ likeable. " _Yeah_! That'd be _great_! Have a hang sesh where we just do us, _yeah_? Nails and beards and _so on_? I can rope the old man into it too. Taako doesn't _do_ beards so... _elves_ , amirite? Though...," he turned his focus to Angus again, tilting his head to the side, "You know if Cap'n'port is gonna swing by or is he still in Stillwater?"

"Last _I_ checked, he was hanging with Merle at the Cove so I'm not sure if he departed before Merle came up for the party. _Sorry_ , sir!" Angus shrugged.

"Well, _if_ he stops by, I'll have to have him join us." Magnus let go of Hardwon's hand, finally, and clapped him on the back. _Goddamn_ he staggered under the man's friendly assault. "Why don't you introduce everyone else and then, Istus willing, you can split the party and chill with me?"

"Merle _still_ in his room?"

"Last I checked? Was grousing about the music being too loud for his babies so I noped _right_ the fuck out. Better knock first, to be safe." Magnus grimaced, tongue sticking out in disgust.

Angus mirrored his expression. "Yeah, _will do_."

And the party continued on.

* * *

Merle was, _indeed_ , in his room. _Thankfully_ , he wasn't sexing up his plants. _Un_ thankfully, he was smoking a just fucking _dank_ blunt. The room looked like a Colombian sauna for all the smoke in it. Opening the door alone got everyone a little contact-high.

Angus coughed and _Prestidigitated_ a bubble of clean air around the four of them. In the center of everything was Merle, _mostly_ naked, smoking like his life depended on it. "Do you _mind_?"

"Wanted to introduce my friends, sir. It's only polite!" Angus tried to be nice but, even knowing Merle and his habits, it was hard to not let it get to him.

"Cool. _Sup_? Wanna puff?" Merle proffered the blunt to Hardwon, who side-eyed Beverly and took a hit. He coughed hard and passed it back. "Merle Highchurch."

"Hardwon Surefoot," Hardwon hacked a bit and took another drag when Merle offered. " _Sup_?"

" _Me_ , right now. Dwarven? You're a _bit_ big for one but, _fuck_ , Faerûn and Tusôn are already _so different_ that I wouldn't even know if you fancy-ass Toril dwarves _get_ that big." Merle leaned back, his wooden arm supporting him by branching out his fingers like roots.

" _Nah_ , human. Dwarven- _raised_ though." Hardwon looked like he was trying to parse that sentence but Angus shook his head, trying to signify to not to. _Thankfully_ he didn't.

"Fucking _nice_. And _you_?" Merle offered it up to Moonshine, who took a drag and didn't even cough. "Haven't seen an elf with ears like that. Takes _all_ types though."

"Moonshine Cybin. You got _shrooms_ 'round here?" She _didn't_ comment on the ears thing, her own ears being less pointed than High Elves and not as moveable as Tusôn elves. Instead she seemed to be looking at the plants surrounding here.

"Under the bed. Not the _good_ shit, though. Pan is one for all nature but mushrooms fall in that grey area between him 'n the Raven Queen." Merle grinned. He noticed Angus getting more flustered as time went on and waved his hand. _Gust of Wind_ cleared the room of the smog and he gave Beverly the once-over. "This _yours_? Didn't know that a halfling could come from a human-elf union but, _okay_?"

Everyone in the room made an undignified noise. "Oh _no_!" Beverly said at the same time Hardwon was coughing out a worried "are you fucking _serious_?!" and Moonshine just whispered " _Melora_!"

Angus just sighed, " _Adventurers_. _Not_ related."

"I mean, _anyone_ can be family after a bit!" Merle rebutted.

Angus shook his head, "But not _every_ human lives to be a hundred and thirty four so no. _Not these_. Just _companions_ and the like."

Merle grinned, _very_ aware of what he'd said and done, and held his hands up in a pacifying gesture. " _Cool_. Calm your jets, you little _shit_. Just riling you right up." Angus leveled him with a look. Merle was nonplussed. He just took another drag and stubbed out his blunt.

"Beverly Toegold V, by the by." Beverly offered him a handshake. Merle didn't take it, just meeting it with a barely-readable smile and a nod to Angus.

Angus blushed but hid it well.

Fucking _asshole_...

"Well, _unless_ you're here to also tell me that Maggie lost the bet, _get out_. I've got some tapas to munch while I check on my kids. Don't wait up!" He pulled out his Stone of Farspeech and waved the group off. Angus, gathering all his patience, nodded and guided his friends off.

Merle was Just Like That, but it was still _irritating_.

 _Especially_ when he was doing it on purpose to embarrass him.

* * *

Moonshine was _awestruck_ , for sure. This place was _big_ , even by Beverly's old money standards, and it was full of _all sorts_. After the weird introduction with Merle, the Band and Angus wandered back to the main sitting area and did whatever they wanted. Bev sequestered himself with Angus, letting small bits of embarrassment and calm slither through the spores line. Hardwon went off to hang with Magnus and, despite the male bravado that he had been trying to give off earlier, seemed _comfortable_ around the larger human. And Moonshine herself? She was bouncing from place to place, satisfying her curiosity.

According to Taako, who didn't say much unless buttered _right_ up, the lot of them—a group he called the Birds that he said contained himself, Lup, Barry, Magnus, Merle, Davenport, and Lucretia—were from a whole different planar system, making them _pretty much_ aliens. They'd saved the whole of reality from a consuming force of evil they called the Hunger—Taako said he wanted to call it the Vore Cloud but "I was out-voted, by _my own sister_ , no less!"—and now were just chilling on Toril. "Feels more like home than Tusôn did, _yanno_? Got people I _give a shit_ about here. Even if we _did_ grow up on Tusôn, Faerûn helped us grow the most." Then he added, in a wholly empty threat, "And if you say a _word_ of this to anyone, I _will_ kill you."

After a bit, she went to pick Merle's brain. He was a _little_ more open emotionally, though he kept his information closer to his chest than Taako. While he didn't have anything to say about Tusôn and Faerûn in terms of liveable places and so on, he didn't have notes on morphology of the various humanoids. And _even if_ Moonshine couldn't read, she _knew_ flora and fauna and their ilk.

"Dwarves here are... _weird_. It's hard to place at first but then you notice their teeth are more flat, for grinding? Dwarves on Tusôn ate meat _almost_ exclusively. Caught stubby things under rocks and cracked open shellfish on beaches. Faerûn dwarves have a _weird_ thing for lichen and mushrooms. Right up _your_ alley, though?" He laughed when she asked about elves. "Taako and Lup are sun elves, which y'all have here on Toril, but they're different. More... _cat_ -like on Tusôn. Drow from there have _tails_ and shit, which was a _weird_ disconnect since Ren's a Faerûn Drow and we couldn't figure out _what_ was off about her until we remembered. But _you_? Crick Elves are a thing we _didn't_ have on Tusôn. _Hardier_ , I'm sure, and more _adaptable_? From the sound of the Crick, you lot are matriarchal with a central community. S'a pretty good deal. Similar to some lizardfolk I know."

Curiosity _somewhat_ satisfied, she left him some of the Crick shrooms and a blessing, and wandered to the kitchen again. There was a person she didn't recognize there, chatting up Taako who was happily cooking something that smelled divine.

"Hey! _Speaking_ of, Creesh check out Moonshine!" Taako gestured to Moonshine with the spoon and the person turned to face her.

Moonshine's heart skipped a beat.

She was a dark-skinned human woman, somewhere in her middling years, with silvery hair cropped close and sad blue eyes. She gave Moonshine a warm smile, as did all of Angus's friends, and nodded. "Taako's been speaking fondly of you. Nice to meet you at last, Miss Cybin."

Moonshine felt herself heating up. Pawpaw grumbled at the heat and evacuated her overalls. Moonshine tucked a strand of hair over her ear and giggled. "Eh, _um_ , jus' Moonshine works, _thanks_..."

"I _'m_ Lucretia, in case the lead chucklefuck didn't bother to ID the few of us not here on your arrival." She jerked her thumb over her shoulder at Taako, who blew her a raspberry. "He likes to pretend he's _still_ mad at me, but I just won him about eighty gold so he can huff my shorts."

"Nice t'meetcha, Lucretia..." _oh sweet Melora that was **fucking** dumb as **fuck** shut your **fool** mouth before you embarrass yourself **farther** Moonshine!_

Lucretia laughed and it was like angels rang windchimes. _Fuck_ , but it was beautiful. "Not a problem! I'm _assuming_ you've had some time with Tres Horny Bois and young Angus?"

"Tres _what now?_ " _That_ threw Moonshine for a brief loop.

Lucretia pinched the bridge of her nose, a motion Angus had mimicked so long ago. "Taako, Magnus, and Merle. They decided to go by Tres Horny Bois a while back and _no one_ can convince them to stop. I've _tried_. Once you're immune to a knowledge consuming alien jellyfish, you _think_ you know best _apparently_!"

"Pot, _kettle_!" Taako hollered, which caused Lucretia to scrunch up and groan.

" _One time_ , Taako! I swear to _fuck_! I can't mess up _once_!" She shouted back.

" _Ten years_ without my sister! You can fucking suck my _magnum dong_ , Creesh! Be glad I let you within my sight!" Taako rebutted.

"I _can_ burn _True Polymorph_ on you! _Don't_ test me! I'm sure Lup would _love_ to have an ermine for a brother!"

"Damn well like to see you _try_!" _Despite_ the sharp barbs, their words weren't mean. Neither really were _angry_ , just rehashing an old argument for old times sake. They seemed both the type to hold grudges.

"Now _who's_ yelling in here? I can hear the sound of disk horse from a _whole_ plane of existence away!" Moonshine froze again, the back of her neck heating up. She _recognized_ that one. _That_ was Lup.

Lup, who was wrapping herself around her brother and trying to sneak a sip of whatever he was cooking. Lup, who was wearing a black cloak and carrying a scythe that was on fire. Lup, who had a skull for a face but was still _super goddamn hot._

Lucretia lit up and waved. " _Welcome back_! Have you had a chance to see the guests?"

"The ones Bones went and picked up halfway across Toril?" Lup looked back at Lucretia and, somehow conveying expression with a skull, pulled skin back over her face. " _Yo_! Didn't know it'd be _you_ three!"

" _S-surprise_!" Lup didn't seem... _mad_ , but it was still embarrassing to be seen by this _really_ hot elf who was _also_ an undead thing and also rejected both her and Hardwon and _hoo fucking boy!_ She hoped that her general discomfort was broadcasting through the spores line to Hardwon, so he'd be ready. "Angus, apparently, knows Bev."

"Your boy? The _paladin_ one?!"

" _Mmhmm_?"

Lup guffawed, full-on doubled over. " _Ey_ , Ko! That kid is beefier than yours! How does that make you feel?"

"Like I have all two-hundred pounds of you laying across my back, _dingus_! I don't need spinal issues _along with_ everything else! Get _off_!" Lup rolled off of him, flipped him the double-bird, and strolled over to Moonshine and Lucretia in a supremely leisurely manner. Hands in cloak pockets, grin set in place, _still_ hot as shit.

"Pleased to see you again, Moonshine! You can meet the husband now! He's so _goddamn_ stoked about meeting Crick elves." Lup nudged Moonshine in the ribs, gently, with a wink. "On Tusôn we didn't have folk like them. It's a delight for sure!"

" _Oh_! What...kind of elves _did_ y'have on Tusôn?" Moonshine was certain she was red as fire. It didn't matter. _Calm breaths. Calm breaths. In. Out_. "I mean, Merle gave me _some_ info, like how Drow had tails and so on, but _like_...?"

Lup grinned, all sharp teeth and wicked joy. Moonshine's heart skipped a beat. "Let me _tell_ you! Creesh! Come sit with me and Moonshine while we talk morphological differences across planar systems!"

"Should I bring my slideshow?! Or journals?" Lucretia bounced on the balls of her feet, eyes and grin wide. She exuded joy and excitement. It was damn _wonderful_.

" _Hell yeah_ , babe! Let's make a girl's night of it!" Lup slung one arm around Moonshine ( _don't think about her skin, the warm nutmeg of her freckles against your own, the smell of smoke and campfires and warm, don't don't don't_ ) and the other around Lucretia ( _be still , be quiet my heart, be still_ ). Then, with absolutely _no_ shame, she dragged the two of them off to sit down and talk and, no it _wasn't_ a romance thing but yes _maybe yes_?

* * *

Beverly was having A Time for sure! Angus was _fun_ , sure, and his guardians were also nice enough, but it was bordering on overwhelming.

Even growing up in a city like Galaderon, this place felt _crowded_ and Bev kinda put that on the fact that he had been spending the _majority_ of his time on the road with two or three people at a time. Five people in one room felt _claustrophobic_ , almost. It was _weird_...

Angus, Hardwon, Magnus, and Beverly were painting each other's nails. Angus had a neat pattern of amber argyle that Magnus had spent fifteen minutes on. Magnus was sporting an alternate pattern of warm burgundy and soft baby blue that Hardwon had managed to get all over his beard for some goddamn reason. Hardwon himself was getting done up in a gold-flecked navy by Magnus, who was talking about dogs as he painted. And Angus was doing Bev's own nails in a nice gold color. His toes too.

Across the rapport spore line, he could feel Moonshine get real anxious and horny _all at once_. Then Hardwon stiffened and met Beverly's eyes, quietly worried. "You okay?" Beverly asked.

" _Um_ , okay, _uh_...so remember Taako's _sister_?" Hardwon _tried_ to keep his voice from cracking but he failed. Magnus gave him a slight worried look.

"Yeah?"

"She's _here_. And her husband? And, like, I fucking... _hit_ on her????" His face was a deep red, as was Magnus's, from trying to hold in laughter.

" _Big mood_ , buddy," Magnus chuckled, patting him gently.

"Oh." Beverly closed his eyes and winced as a big ol' ping went off in his paladin senses. It was like Pelor had grabbed his shoulders and was hollering **WARNING: BAD UNDEAD! BIG TERRIFYING UNDEAD! STOP! RUN! OH, HOLY ME!** " _Oh!_ "

" _Beverly_?" Angus tried to catch his attention but all of Beverly was focused on the blaring alarm that was inside his head. "Beverly, are you okay?"

" _Hhh_...," he tried to breathe in deep, slow, but his heart was running overdrive as his senses picked up on undead and danger and _will kill everyone_. " _R-run!_ " He wanted to protect them to keep them safe he couldn't _he couldn't **he couldn't**_ —!

In front of him was a spectral being, a red robe fluttering around its form in a wind that did not exist. Necrotic magic sucked the light out of everything as it turned to face Beverly, shaking gently in place. Within the dead sockets of what had been a skull, once upon a time, were the glinting lights of arcane eyes that focused on him. The being— _a lich? This was a lich! A lich! Not a demilich or a revenant! A! Lich!_ —stepped forward, the scythe in its hand disappearing into nothing. Beverly couldn't _move_ , couldn't _breathe_ , _couldn't_ —

" **Holy _shit_! Oh _man_ , I think...hold on!**" The lich fumbled about and made a gesture with its left hand, pulling skin over its face. The necrotic energy was dampened by a thrum of unfamiliar radiance and in the lich's place was a soft, older human man. Easily _double_ Hardwon's age, the man that had been a lich—had been _bullshit_ , he _was_ a lich pretending to be a human and _and **and**_ —adjusted square glasses on his nose and held his hands up on placation. "You're that paladin kid, _right_? _Um_ , hi, sorry for, _um_ , _spooking_ you but, _like_ , I'm not gonna, _um_ , hurt you or your friends. I _promise_."

Beverly didn't believe him. Didn't _trust_ him. Even _with_ the radiant energy cloaking the undead _death pain terror this is the worst thing ever to exist_ , Beverly couldn't get rid of the panic hammering his ribcage. He couldn't speak through the bitter copper in his throat and he _and he **and he**_ —!

"This," Angus said, slowly, "is _Barry_. Lup's husband. _Yes_ , he is a lich, but any of the Birds _as well as_ Mister Kravitz can vouch for him. _Also_ he currently works for the Raven Queen, who can suffer no undead to live in such a fashion. So you _know_ ," he said, metered, humming, "that he's okay. Miss Lup is _also_ a lich and _also_ okay. We can explain, just breathe deep. _In. Out._ "

Beverly _tried_ matching Angus's counts, pupils blown wide and heart still pounding. It was hard, but eventually Hardwon came over and placed a hand against the small of his back, which helped. Moonshine even scrambled into the main room on all fours, fungus sprouting from her skin in a pre-fight reaction. When she saw Beverly having a basic panic attack and the nervous looking man who darted over to Lup to whisper apologies, she put two and two together and scooped Bev up in a deep Crick hug.

Pawpaw just chattered at his feet, scrambling about and that was _enough_.

The world settled back into focus.

" _Sorry_ ," Beverly whimpered into Moonshine's chest, too tired and sad and worried and sad and anxious and _sad_ to be embarrassed. "M'sorry about _this_...m'so _so_ sorry...this is _stupid_." _I'm stupid_ , he didn't say. _I'm overreacting_ , he didn't say. He _thought_ it though.

They _felt_ him think it. He could feel their frowns. They hugged him harder.

"No, _I'm_ sorry. I should've warned you. Barry and Lup are hard to get a grip on, _even if_ you know the Story, let alone otherwise. I'm _sure_ that your ability to detect undead made it worse but we," Angus frowned and wrung his shirt in his hands, " _I_ should've thought about it."

" _No_ ," Beverly began, but he was cut off by Barry, flanked by Lup and Kravitz.

" _I'm_ sorry," Barry said. It was hard to parse Barry-the- _person_ from Barry-the- _lich_ but he _tried, dammit!_ "I forget that my... _state of being_ upsets people. And I _also_ forget that it's _worse_ for those with an attunement to the Light. I'm very, _very_ sorry for scaring you like that."

"If it's worth _anything_ ," Lup added, her hand placed flat on her husband's back, "you _almost_ Turned him. That's fucking _impressive_. _Scarily so_. Your god must have a deep connection with you."

"P-Pelor's light is a warming and-and _strong_ one." Bev wiped the snot off his nose and shifted in his friends' grasps. "I'm _sorry_ if I hurt you."

"I'm good. It'd take _more_ than that to put the kibosh on ol' Barry Bluejeans." He seemed like he _meant_ it.

Moonshine and Hardwon, sure of Bev being calm, let him down. " _You okay?_ " Hardwon _tried_ to sound like he didn't care. He _did_ , but he _tried_.

" _Yeah_."

" _Y'sure_?" Moonshine prodded.

" _Yeah_. Thanks."

"Cuddle pile?" Moonshine asked, certain what his answer would be.

" _Please_?" The concept of snuggling down with his two favorite people was the best. Warm and safe. _Just_ what he needed.

" _Ey_ , I heard cuddle!" Magnus poked his head out of the kitchen. Sometime between Bev starting to break down and now, he had headed into the kitchen to give Angus and the Band their space. Now he was back with Taako and Lucretia in tow. Even _Merle_ was waddling after the lot of them, looming slightly perturbed—which, as far as Bev could glean, was Merle for worries as fuck.

"We need a cote?" Taako asked. His ears were up and quivering slightly, face almost impassive.

" _Cote_?" Moonshine asked, confused. Taako and Lup shared a wicked grin. Merle placed a hand flat on her upper leg.

He fixed her with a solemn and sincere smile. "Sis, you're gonna fucking _love_ it; trust me."

* * *

Long story short: they _did._


End file.
